Sleep Paralysis

Sleep Paralysis is a phenomenon I've been experiencing for years. I've always had a fascination with the subject, and it does feature in Lonely Ballerina. My Sleep Paralysis was diagnosed as a mental chemical imbalance by a sleep disorder specialist at Leeds University, many years ago. I didn't agree with his analysis nor his diagnosis. Of course, he would have been more scientifically informed than myself but there's no substitute for first-hand experience, and I'd encountered many hundreds of these episodes prior to our hour-long consultation which took place at the University. Chemical imbalance? We could hold the view that our everyday existence is merely a series of chemical interactions. These Sleep Paralysis 'encounters', to me, are just as real as when I walk to the shop during wakefulness, the tangible awareness is mirrored exactly, albeit in an alternate realm/dimension. Just because the experience doesn't manifest in, what we perceive to be, our 'physical' world then, as I see it, it doesn't necessarily mean that it is less real. I guess it boils down to how we interpret the word 'real'!! Chemical imbalanced or real-life encounter?

The subject is one open to much debate and there will be those who automatically debunk such fantastical issues, but I'll quickly recount a recent experience just to give a flavour of the nature of these seemingly bizarre occurrences. I place my experiences into two categories. Firstly, the type-1's, which are devoid of sinister undertaking, perhaps a buzzing in the brain or the sensation of an electric current running through one's body. With practice and determination these can be harnessed and converted into positive spiritual experiences, (these are great!!! Yay!!). Type-2's are those with sinister undertakings. These are real badass experiences, ones you never want to be repeated and ones you can hardly ever prepare for. It was just one of these I encountered the other night. Perhaps I was overly-tired, had stuff on my mind and mentally exhausted, it's usual that mental energies are at a low ebb during this type of encounter, as if the level of mental resistance is low. As I gradually slipped from wakefulness into sleep mode the customary heavy head buzzing commenced. I knew straight away that this was a type-2, and that I would have a mental struggle on my hands. I wasn't to be disappointed. First one, then another, and finally a third hand and arm appeared from behind my pillow, rose up and grabbed the back of my head. Just arms and hands from the elbow, no upper arm, torso or face. The 'hands' then attempted to drag my head backwards and downwards, behind the pillow between the headboard and mattress. I knew what was going on and I knew I just had to ride it out. My mental energies had to be strong enough to resist the force and I dread to think of the consequences had I been weak enough to let the forces have their way and drag me under. I dare not let that happen through sheer fear! Nevertheless, the encounter was chillingly REAL and left a very real, negative feeling of darkness and dread, which is still lurking within my system, as I write these words. There is always a residual mental effect in the aftermath of such an incident, but never a physical one. Chemical imbalance? Do we reside inside of our headspace, or outside? Or a combination of the two?